“If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” We’ve all heard this saying before; in fact, I’m sure most of us have even repeated it to a family member or a friend at one time or another. It’s a simple statement that seems pretty obvious — don’t say mean things about people; it hurts their feelings and in the end, doesn’t make you feel very good either. Unfortunately, as simple as this statement is, many people fail to follow it. And with the rapidly growing popularity of social websites and blogs, bullies of every age have now become cyberbullies, and are able to verbally attack their victim on a variety of platforms.
A couple weeks ago, the New York Times published an article that looked at whether the content posted on a particular advertising blog may have pushed Paul Tilley, the creative director of DDB Chicago, to commit suicide. According to the Times, “Before his death, Mr. Tilley had come under particularly harsh criticism on advertising blogs.” The site posted 13 comments that bashed Tilley’s name and work, one of which contained an excerpt from an email Tilley had sent to his employees. Three days after the first offensive comment was posted, the Times says Mr. Tilley “apparently jumped from an upper floor at the Fairmont Chicago hotel.”
No one will ever know why Paul Tilley decided to end his life or if the blog postings had anything to do with it, but whether they did or not, there is still an important issue at hand. When does criticism become a personal attack, and whose responsibility is it to distinguish between the two? According to the article, “Mediabistro’s senior vice president and founder, Laurel Touby, said she did not think that the remarks” made towards Tilley “were that bad,” but that “the anonymous comments from others had given her reason to reconsider the company’s posting policies, and perhaps require those who ‘say something nasty’ to include their names.”
Web hosts can do their part by monitoring the kinds of comments that get posted on their blog. Policing their sites can help decrease the amount of personal attacks that make it on the Internet, but the real focus needs to be educating people about the real dangers harsh words can cause. Public humiliation at any age is a hard thing to get over, especially when it is broadcast on a platform that lives on indefinitely. As I said, monitoring blogs can only do so much, but wouldn’t it be better if it was never written in the first place?
For more information on cyberbullying visit http://www.ncpc.org/newsroom/current-campaigns/cyberbullying/. The tips are focused towards teens, but adults can learn a few things from this advice too. For more information on bullying in the workplace, view my previous blog Keep Bullies Out of the Workplace or visit http://bullyinginstitute.org/.
Cyber-bullying. It's not just for kids.
Posted by: Drewdy | March 21, 2008 at 03:31 PM