Prevention Works

Not Quite a Quiet Evening Out

A few weeks ago, my husband and I went to have dinner at our local Olive Garden restaurant. Across the aisle, a husband and wife and their young son were seated at a table for eight. Apparently, it was the child’s birthday. Also apparently, the wife had done something that upset the husband. What began as snide remarks grew into a full scale argument. I could hear this man spit insults at his wife in a venomous tone, gradually getting louder and more irate. He stood up and stormed away from the table, only to return angrier than he had been before. At one point, he placed his hand on the back of the child’s chair and leaned over the child’s shoulder to yell at his wife. Meanwhile, the child sat despondently between them, intensely focused on the zipper of his coat, as if trying to block out what was happening. At one point, another adult (perhaps a nanny) slipped next to the child to offer a few words of comfort and to place a party hat on the child’s head.

At NCPC, I develop materials on teaching children how to resolve conflicts without anger and violence. I have written tip sheets to parents on how they can help their children learn how to manage their anger, articulate their feelings, and talk through problems. But perhaps the most important thing parents can do for their children is to act as positive role models. Of course, this is easier said than done. Most of us, even as adults, struggle to control our own anger and frustration. We sometimes are at a loss for words to describe how we feel and what we want in a stressful situation. It can be hard to name a specific action that will help us move beyond bitterness and toward a resolution. But just because the task is hard, doesn’t mean we can avoid our responsibility to try. Especially when children are watching.

The scene in the restaurant brought up another issue for me—what should someone do when they witness this type of behavior? What is the responsibility of the bystander? The Olweus Bullying Prevention Group (named after Dan Olweus, who in the 1960s first studied and defined bullying and its impact on children) identifies six roles that bystanders play. One role is the “disengaged onlooker.” In other words, these are people who ignore what is happening. They feel that they have no business intervening in the situation. I think that many people take on this role when they see conflicts arise among members of another family. They don’t want to become involved in a “private” matter. But what happens when a child is being hurt by that conflict? Clearly, the child shrinking against the back of his chair was being hurt by witnessing his parents’ horrible fight. I was getting sick to my stomach listening to such anger; I can only imagine what the child was feeling. I chose to report the argument to the manager of the restaurant, who promptly spoke with the couple and said that they would be asked to leave if they continued fighting. The arguing couple calmed down somewhat, and the manager stayed close to the table, ready to intervene if the fighting escalated again. As she said to me, “You’ve come out to enjoy a nice dinner. Not witness an episode of Jerry Springer.”   

I still think about the behavior of those parents in the restaurant, and I wonder how that child will look back on this birthday when he is older. I also wonder how many days he hears his parents arguing as they did that night, and if they yell at him the way I saw them yell at each other. It’s up to all of us to show young people a better way for managing anger and conflict. It’s also up to us to do what we can to help if we see or believe a child is being hurt. We won’t get it right every time, but at least we can try.

What Happened to Rehabilitation?

I've blogged about sex offenders before, as have many other NCPC staffers. And with each blog, I always find myself trapped in gray areas, playing devil's advocate to any new piece of legislation or article I read. Recently, The New York Times reported that the town of New Bedford, MA, would like to ban "high-risk sex offenders from entering or coming into numerous public places."

The call for the ban came after a sex offender raped a six-year-old boy in a public library. I am truly sorry for the boy and I am always saddened to learn that tragedies such as these happen.

I am also interested in New Bedford’s ordinance. I do believe that prisoners and sex offenders can be rehabilitated. A permanent ban doesn't strike me as a way to reintegrate someone into society. While I understand the need for a perception of safety, I wonder if the alienation of ex-offenders is a method to achieve a safe society. The article states that sex offenders on probation and parole are forbidden "to mix or interfere with children." But is walking into a public library or bus stop mixing with children? If you are a parent or if you work in this field, where is the acceptable line in the sand?

I also wonder how "high-risk sex offenders" are assigned their risk levels in New Bedford, and if they will always be defined in the same way (as the article discusses risk level appeals). Because even though the Genarlow Wilson case is finally over, I would hate to see another 17-year-old who engages in a consensual sex act with a 15-year-old be labeled as an "aggravated child molester," and be forever banned from a park.

There has to be a better way to protect our children than forever building prisons around ex-offenders.

It’s 2008. Do You Know Where Your Kids Surf?

For a while now, I’ve tried to provide a consistent message about the Internet: like the real world, it can be dangerous. Crimes on the Internet may be executed differently, and the scale is generally larger, but Internet crime is still a human enterprise and that means, at the end of the day, the Internet is host to malicious people who want our property or do us harm. While I may sound overly pessimistic, I’ve found that thinking this way makes it much easier to see the need to protect children who go online. Just as you wouldn’t let your children wander the streets without knowing where they’re going, you wouldn’t do the same online. And just as it’s important to know who your children spend their time with and who their friends are, it’s important to know who they are communicating with online and which online friends are becoming “real life” friends. Unfortunately, according to a new study mentioned in Science Daily, “there is an enormous gap between what they [parents] think their children are doing online and what is really happening.”

The study is of youth in the Middle East, and so its results are not directly translatable to America, but if they are even fractionally true, it is disheartening. According to the study, while only four percent of parents believed their children gave out personal information online, 73 percent of children actually did. Additionally, although “thirty-six percent from the high school group admitted to meeting with a stranger they had met online,” fewer than nine percent of parents knew their children had done so. The article is full of upsetting statistics like these, and they show that parents, at least the ones in this study, are not doing a stellar job at learning about their children’s online browsing habits.

Thankfully, prevention here is common sense and not difficult. The researchers explain it succinctly themselves: “Children should be encouraged to tell their parents about Internet encounters that make them uncomfortable. It's just common sense and parents need to teach them that. Talking with your children regularly is important.” As NCPC explains in its advice to parents about internet safety, the best thing you can do is have open communication about what your children do online. Ask them to show you where they go, and talk to them about with whom they communicate online, just as you would when asking them about who they spend their time with in real life and where they go after school. Establish trust, have open communication, and realize that the Internet is not some totally different world.

On an unrelated and personal note, this will be my last post here at Prevention Works. I’ll still be a regular reader and commenter, but I am moving on to new work and won’t be writing here anymore as an official blogger. I’ve greatly enjoyed contributing though, and would like to thank our readers, commenters, and other bloggers for making writing here such a rewarding experience. I’d also like to thank the National Crime Prevention Council for the chance to help “Take A Bite Out Of Crime®.”

Playing Nice in the Virtual Sandbox

Earlier this week, MySpace announced it was participating in an industry task force to develop a more rigorous age-verification system, and that it is modifying the structure and capabilities of the popular social networking site to better protect its users. Among the new features (several of which are noted in this Associated Press article), MySpace will debut a new high school section and give parents the ability to submit their children’s email addresses for better protection.

The decision was made in partnership with 49 state lawmakers, but, as MSNBC reports, “the agreement did not have penalties and was not legally binding”; this action by MySpace is one of intent, goodwill, and hope for a safer online experience. Regardless, as the next shift in the terrain of online social networks and online safety, this is a move for the best.

By the fast-paced clock of the Internet, online social networks have been around forever (the Wikipedia puts Classmates.com at ca. 1995), yet the millions of users (100 million on MySpace alone) still sail in largely uncharted waters. We advise anyone surfing the web to be cautious in their online experience. We tell them to never post personal information or photos which could, in the wrong hands, lead to identity theft. But we recognize social networking sites are predicated on the fact that people want to share, that they want to stake out their corner of cyberspace in a very personal way and to connect with others.

In our Delete Cyberbullying campaign, we say, “if you wouldn’t say it in person, don’t say it online,” and, the “Think Before You Post” campaign by the Ad Council and National Center for Missing & Exploited Children reinforces that advice, as it’s applicable to a lot more situations than cyberbullying. (I thought the Bulletin Board video was particularly effective.) Yet, where would online social networking be if we only spoke to people we already knew well enough to talk to in real life? Online social networking could be just a supplemental way of communicating, but its potential reaches much further—for amateur artists, for advertisers, for business contacts, and for friends.

While the announcement by MySpace promises a safer sandbox for all, the choice to play nice and play safe is ultimately up to the users. So what can you do? Two things: Educate yourself and ask watchgroups and authorities to make a difference within the system.

If you’re on a social networking site, you have already agreed to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. It won’t hurt for you to re-read them. If you’re on MySpace, check out its Safety Tips. There are links to more resources there for parents and teens.

MySpace isn’t only for individuals; many organizations create and maintain a MySpace profile. Even McGruff® has a profile (but, being the super-busy Crime Dog that he is, he hasn’t had a chance to update it in a long time). Given that parenthetical, it may seem hypocritical of me to suggest other busy organizations devoted to online safety and protecting children spend some precious resources to maintain a MySpace presence. But but I believe social networking sites are here to stay (or, at least, here to evolve) and much as MySpace is going to modify the structure, so must we work to keep the sandbox safe by playing together.

A hat tip to MSNBC’s Today Show for this topic.

Drugs With New Flavors

The creativity of drug traffickers and manufacturers never ceases to amaze me.  It seems that every time demand for one illegal drug wanes, a “new” drug is suddenly introduced to the market.  Often, these “new” drugs are simply combinations of other existing drugs, spruced up with a little color or flavoring.  They’re usually given hip, appetizing names in order to sound harmless or appear new and different.  But most of us recognize these tactics as pathetic attempts to hook new users, most often youth, on yet another toxic substance.

Well, America, get ready for the new drug cocktail, coming soon to an emergency room near you: Methamphetamine laced Ecstasy.  According to a recent article by the New York Times, this harmful hybrid has been making its way across the Canadian border into the United States in large quantities over the past couple of years.  And unfortunately, while there have not been any reported casualties or overdoses yet, many experts believe there is a significant lag time between when drugs cross the border and when they actually affect communities.  So this will certainly be one to keep an eye on.

The good news is that it may indicate desperation on the side of drug traffickers.  Scott Burns, a deputy director at the drug control policy office, was quoted in the Times article as saying, “Drug traffickers often have to reinvent or come up with new products when what we’re doing is working.”  But the bad news may be that, according to the Times article, less of the youth today recognize how harmful Ecstasy really is (not to mention the addition of methamphetamine to Ecstasy).  So perhaps the most important work we have left to do is continuing to educate our youth.  When presented with the facts, they tend to make good decisions.  But we can’t allow drug traffickers to convince them otherwise.

A Cluttered Digital Landscape

Just one week into 2008, the persistent problem of identity theft has already been grabbing the headlines.  It seems that the web-based technology associated with this crime is allowing more opportunities for criminals than it is for law enforcement agencies and the courts.  Basically, the Internet is a vast, digital landscape, cluttered with an immeasurable amount of information, and it is easier for thieves to mine the data for peoples’ private information than it is for anyone to clean it up and secure or remove that private information.  But this is not a battle our society can afford to lose if we hope to continue sharing personal information in any capacity, let alone if we hope to salvage consumers’ trust in e-commerce.  To that end, I am dedicating this blog article to the many recent interesting and helpful articles I have read regarding online safety.

The Washington Post published an article last week about the proliferation of online record keeping, and the effects it’s had on identity theft.  The article paints a disturbing picture in which American citizens, particularly those involved with court cases, often have their personal information, including their Social Security numbers, published online and made publicly accessible without their knowledge.  Since the laws protecting this data and criminalizing identity theft vary greatly from state to state, and often within the states themselves, it falls heavily onto American citizens to vigilantly protect this kind of information. 

If you notice that your personal information is published on a website, immediately read that website’s privacy policy and contact them to remove the data.  There’s no guarantee that they will comply, but you should certainly make the effort.  The organization Computer Professionals for Social Responsibility offers some helpful information on its website regarding this action.  After that, since the data has been visible to the public, it would be smart to follow these instructions provided by the Federal Trade Commission.  Also, keep in mind that you may request a free credit report from each of the three national reporting companies each year in order to monitor your credit yourself.  Just remember that there is only one authorized online source for you to request a free credit report under federal law.

Also worthy of note recently: The New York Times published an extremely interesting article that reports the tale of a homeless man who had his identity stolen.

The Washington Post and the New York Times have also recently published articles that describe some of the efforts being made to safeguard children using the Internet.  Both of them are worth a read. 

For now, what else can I say?  If you, like me, are unhappy with this current state of affairs online, demand more legislation from your local lawmakers to address these issues and call out loudly for tougher penalties for cybercriminals.  The future of online privacy is very uncertain.

Mentoring: A New Year's Resolution To Keep

As the new year gets under way, many of us have made resolutions to improve our lives. We make these resolutions every year--lose five pounds, save more money, get organized.

Another popular resolution that you’re less likely to hear about is a resolution to help others or volunteer. But for those who included “helping others” as one of their resolutions, I encourage you to consider becoming a mentor. Mentoring is a way for a caring adult to make a difference and have a positive influence on a child’s life. Research has shown that youth who participate in mentoring relationships are less likely to abuse drugs, engage in delinquent behavior, or skip school, according to Child Trends.

Although any child can benefit from a meaningful mentor relationship, young people who are the most disadvantaged or “at-risk” seem to benefit the most from mentoring. These disadvantaged children and teens often come from single-parent, low-income families, live in high-crime neighborhoods, and attend schools that have been labeled poor or failing. Despite these barriers, an adult who is willing to mentor a child for just one year can have a tremendous impact on the life of that child. MENTOR, a national advocacy organization, estimates that nearly 15 million children would benefit from having a mentor. That’s 15 million children who would benefit from having a caring adult commit just four hours a month to that child.

Support for mentoring has recently had a big boost. President Bush issued a proclamation designating January 2008 as National Mentoring Month and amidst the decline in federal funding for prevention-focused programs, Congress has allocated $100 million to support mentoring organizations and programs in 2008. There are well-known organizations like Big Brothers Big Sisters in practically every community that match “Bigs” and “Littles” every day. I served as a mentor for three years through this program and I can attest to how much that mentor relationship enriched my life as well. You may look at your packed daily planner and reason that you just don’t have the time to commit to such a relationship, but if you would consider for one moment the potential impact you could have on a child’s life you might change your mind. Your influence could advance a young child’s passion for books or even a teen’s decision to pursue a college degree versus settling for a high school diploma.

Historically, less than 50 percent of adults who make New Year’s resolutions actually fulfill them. Despite that fact, I challenge you to make and/or keep a resolution that not only benefits you but a young person in need. Become a mentor.

Scanning for Sex Offenders

Some public schools have embraced a new technology that alerts administrators when a visitor to the school is, in fact, a sex offender.  According to a recent Washington Post article, the technology, called V-soft (for “visitor, student, or faculty tracking”), works by scanning visitors’ government-issue IDs when they enter a school.  The information from the IDs is relayed to an office in Houston where technicians monitor it, compare it to national sex offender databases, and alert the school if a sex offender has entered or attempted to enter their facility.   

The device has promise, but it also has a significant price tag of about $130,000 for each school.  I expect the debate over this service to continue for some time, but for now, the V-soft technology is already in use at nearly 4,000 schools nationwide.  Legitimate concerns over the device’s effects on privacy rights remain, although the company that produces V-soft assures the public that they are only concerned with sex offender data. 

I am certainly a proponent of any technology that works to keep our nation’s schools safe, but I wonder what impact V-soft will actually have on school systems.  Do you think that this technology effectively protects America’s youth?  To me, it seems more important to aggressively screen teachers and administrators who work in the schools, as well as educate our children so they can protect themselves when they are off school grounds.  I do recognize the virtues of this device, but I also wonder if the results will be worth the expense, considering that many public school systems across the country are under-funded.  If they spend $130,000 on V-soft technology, what are they losing in exchange?

Selling “Goods” to Teens

As an organization that has focused on child safety for decades, we have dealt with substance abuse by young people several times (does anyone remember, “Users are losers”?). Recently, Science Daily  published an interesting article about four of the reasons that high school seniors drink. The article is valuable from a couple of angles for parents and all prevention practitioners.

The article focuses on a study of high school seniors, a group known to consume more alcohol than any other demographic, according to the article in Science Daily. The study found the teens drink for four major reasons

• To experiment with alcohol
• To experience a thrill
• To relax
• To cope with problems

Unsurprisingly, the study says, “kids with multiple reasons to drink, including reasons related to coping with life, show the heaviest and most problematic drinking behaviors.” The study’s authors drive home the obvious prevention angle: “It is important to know why high school seniors drink so parents, teachers, and high school counselors can pay special attention to the needs of the small but high-risk group of seniors who offer multiple reasons for drinking and who also have anger or frustration issues.”

The study offers something else interesting, beyond reasons for concern by caretakers, though. For those of us who design campaigns to reduce teen drinking, it tells us what we’re competing with. When marketing anything, be it a new car or a healthier lifestyle, you are asking your audience to give something up in exchange for something else. In the case of the new car, you’re asking prospective purchasers to trade hard-earned dollars for transportation, status, and whatever else your car can give. When you’re trying to convince teens to stop drinking, you’re asking them to give up something that they might find exciting, or that helps them relax, or that they use to assuage untold teenage angst. So, we need to find ways to explain that not drinking (a good) can provide those things even better than drinking (a bad). In other words, we need to compete with drinking the same way one car company explains that its car gives you more comfort than someone else’s, even if both provide modes of transportation. This approach to the problem requires a great deal of empathy and creativity, but I can think of no better way to protect our teens—in this case, from themselves. 

Hat tip to Corrections Sentencing.

A Destroyer of Youth

You might be aware that cyberbullying is a serious problem that affects almost half of the teenagers in America today.  You might also be aware that the National Crime Prevention Council is engaged in a national public service advertising campaign aimed at preventing cyberbullying.  But I still don’t think that we, as a society, have come to understand the real nature of this issue.   Nor do I think we really comprehend the serious effects of cyberbullying on our nation’s youth.

Recently, however, the tragic story of Megan Meier and the cyberbullying attacks that led to her suicide have occupied headlines, and put a national focus on this problem.  I first heard of Megan’s story after the TODAY Show reported it.  The story has also been covered in such media outlets as The New York Times since then.  Hers is certainly not the first case in which cyberbullying has led to a young person taking her own life.  But the sordid details of this particular case have elicited a tremendous public outcry, primarily due to the fact that Megan’s anonymous online tormentor was, in fact, a 47-year-old woman who lived down the street. 

Despite all the national attention and overwhelming public outrage, law enforcement officials have made no charge against this adult cyberbully.  According to the Times article, Lt. Craig McGuire of the St. Charles County Sheriff’s Department said that what this adult did “might’ve been rude, it might’ve been immature, but it wasn’t illegal.”  So in response, the officials in the community that is still mourning the loss of an innocent 13-year-old girl immediately passed a measure to make Internet harassment a misdemeanor in their city.  But that is little comfort to the community’s stricken residents and the Meiers family.   

On Prevention Works, we’ve often promoted the practice of alternative sentencing as a substitute for incarceration.  But alternative sentencing can also be effective and practical in cases where incarceration is not an option, such as this one.  Although no charges have been filed yet, the Meiers family still has the option of filing a civil suit against the cyberbully that contributed to their daughter’s death, and if the family were to win such a case, the presiding judge could elect to hand down an alternative sentence.  So instead of the standard sentencing procedure, perhaps the judge could mandate that this adult cyberbully stand on a street corner for an hour every day wearing a sign describing her crime.  Or, perhaps, she could be made to donate a certain portion of her financial assets to a teen suicide prevention foundation for a set number of years to come.  The judge could order that she carry a picture of Megan with her at all times, or perhaps invoke a combination of all these “shaming” techniques.  My point is that a judge could have the discretion to be somewhat creative with her sentence, and by embracing alternative sentencing, justice might be better served.

It’s terrible that it takes a tragic story like this to focus the nation’s attention on the serious problem of cyberbullying.  I hope that people remember Megan’s story for years to come, and that our society can quickly learn to view cyberbullying as what it really is: a destroyer of youth.