Over the past week there have been several national headlines about crimes committed by children and teens. There was the story about a group of third graders who plotted to kill their teacher after being disciplined during class time, the murder of Chicago public school student , Chavez Clarke, who was fatally gunned down as he left school (which led to another story—20 Chicago public school students have been fatally shot over the past three months), and in our own backyard, the story about a local 15-year-old student fatally stabbed just minutes after school dismissal. Mental health practitioners, law enforcement personnel, and school administrators have gone on record attributing these acts of senseless violence on a number of factors, including undiagnosed mental illness and learning disabilities, gang affiliations, and lax gun control policies.
These may all very well be contributing factors, but if we’re talking about reducing, preventing, or eliminating these types of violent crimes and delinquent behavior, it has to start in the home. Children need parental guidance, love, and support to thrive in school and their communities. I believe most parents strive daily to provide their children with a safe and loving home environment, but when parents are faced with social and economic hardship, many struggle to provide the consistency in rule setting, discipline, and interaction and communication essential to the healthy development of a child.
As a full-time working parent I understand how difficult it can be to find and maintain a balance. Good parenting is not easy. Good parenting requires sacrifice, commitment, and discipline. Good parents live a positive lifestyle that their children can emulate. Good parents listen to their children. Good parents show affection to their children. Good parents set boundaries. Good parents find a way to be involved in their child’s life. And finally, good parents are those who recognize when their children need help and responsibly use “the village”. The village (attributed to the African proverb: "It takes a village to raise a child”) may include extended family members, close friends, or spiritual leaders who can support parents or a combination of the many social services programs designed to support the healthy development of a child. The concept of the village and its place in child rearing cannot be overstated although some conservative thinkers believe that the responsibility for child development should lie solely in the hands of the family. Many of today’s family dynamics are complex and many exist in circumstances that place it outside what may be considered the traditional family structure. Thus, parents need to be able to look to the village--the schools, faith community, community centers, and social service agencies that can provide them with the support they need.
I’ll conclude by sharing the comment (posted by a reader, in response to the Washington Post’s coverage of the recent Chicago students murders) that struck me as so poignant and kindled my need to really think about who’s to blame, “Where are the biological creators of these killers?”
Thanks you for this information sometimes we need to read it and know this could be me. Take the time to understand your child, spend the time, this is a product of who you are. Thanks for the great information. I will print this and use it often.
Posted by: Guard Yourself Now | April 11, 2008 at 08:59 PM